Updated: Jul 5
Would you consider yourself a Workaholic?
Are you married to a Workaholic?
Do you work with a Workaholic?
Are you in denial of being a Workaholic?
People work a lot. Some live to work and some work to live. However, there are many Workaholics out there. I, as a Hypnotherapist / Life Coach, regularly work with clients who suffer from Workaholism. When the realisation hits that through being a Workaholic they are missing out on so much fulfilment in life or it is affecting their health, relationships or loneliness, they come and seek help.
By living this way is a number one way of distracting. Distracting from really being fully present in the moment. Distracting from being alone. Distracting from feeling emotions.
This is a compulsive behaviour and serves a purpose in some way as a protector from the intimacy he or she fears along with suppressing the emotions they have been avoiding.
Having worked many session on this behaviour, nobody can make Workaholics change. It must come from the Workaholic themselves. Giving themselves permission for them to stop and surrender to the suppression within. Only then can they take charge of their emotions and live a fulfilled and balanced life.
The majority of Workaholics have similar beliefs that they do not feel enough or there is something wrong with them. That in turn causes so much pain that they hide from this pain and keep going on and on and on proving that they are enough BUT this does not happen as their goal post keeps changing time and time again.
I recognise this behaviour as I was once a Workaholic.
From the age of 15, I worked and worked and worked. To be honest, I loved working. This gave me so much satisfaction in seeing how pleased people were that I gave it my everything in a job. YES it was that feeling of being noticed that made me do more and more and more. No matter how hard I worked, I changed the goal posts and it was never enough as I felt that I was never enough. If I did not get up at 6am and clean the house for mum or make dad’s supper at 9pm, I felt guilty as if something was missing, as if I had not brushed my teeth. The inner child in me wanted to be noticed, loved and accepted so I kept doing more.
The minute I could work, the obsession of doing and doing turned me into a workaholic at a very young age giving my all into every job I had.
I would say it was an obsession - an addiction but I never thought it was as I was not a drinker, drug user, gambler or shopaholic, I just worked. My subconscious attracted the perfect fit for me. A son of a restaurateur who worked 6 days and nights. What a match. I had found an enabler to keep proving my worth by wanting to work with with him.
Having the children did not stop me. I felt depressed as if I was useless. The need to get back to work to prove myself to others took over. I needed that feeling of appreciation. Being a busy mum was not enough, I went back to work. On looking back I gave as much to an employer as I did to my own business. The obsession had taken over.
It was not until I moved to the States and became a Hypnotherapist that I recognised my behaviours. When I opened up my practice, part of me was still doing the same pattern. Playing the same game by giving client session from 10 am to 10pm. It was not until I really went deep within and put myself first that my life changed.
I can honestly say I love what I do but it is not all of me. I do the best service for all my clients and that is enough because I accept myself as being enough. I now enjoy lots of time on my own making up for the 35 years of workaholism. It has not been easy as I have seen myself falling back into how I used to be BUT I tell myself, “look after yourself girl, take care of you”. With prioritising my self care first, I truly want to work with clients and I do BUT there is a difference. I want to rather than my subconscious needing to …..